


Not Quite Dead And Buried

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-22 05:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10690722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Another AU (I need another one, right?) Someone from Robert's past returns to the village, trying to make amends for past mistakes. (No cheating here!)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set sort of now, but in this Rebecca never existed, and Robron never went to Mauritius. The prison storyline still happened here though, hope it makes sense as we go along.

The stranger took a deep breath as she sat behind the wheel of her car, surveying the main street of the village she thought she’d left behind forever. It had been more than fifteen years since she’d last been here, and she’d been so miserable in Emmerdale. She didn’t think she’d ever return, but… she knew she had to. Though having left it this long, it might be easier to stay way.

The village shop had changed, the pub looked different, and there were faces passing the car that she didn’t recognise. Maybe time had moved on. Maybe she was too late for it to make any difference at all. But she had to try. 

With a sigh, she got out of the car and locked it before heading into a shop that had the sign _David’s_  above it. She looked around it, taking in the surroundings and saw a blonde man behind the counter, tapping away on his phone absently. She walked up to the counter and cleared her throat. The man looked up, and did a slight double take, but nothing she wasn’t used to.

“Can I help you?” he asked, fixing a fake smile to his face.

“I hope so,” she said. “I’m looking for someone. Two someone’s actually, I think they still live around here. Victoria Sugden, and Robert Sugden?”

“Er… yeah they’re around here,” the man said. “Not entirely sure I should tell a stranger though.” She smiled at him, wondering where to go from here.

“I haven’t seen either of them in a while,” she said, trying to be a little charming. “I had hoped to bump into them somewhere a little more private than the Woolpack. Don’t want to make a scene. I’m sure this village hasn’t changed that much in the last few years.”

“No, it hasn’t,” the man said. But the pub’s where you’ll find Robert, he lives there.”

She frowned, not liking the sound of that one little bit. “What, is he an alcoholic or something?”

“No,” the man said with a laugh. “He _actually_ lives there, there’s rooms above the pub.”

“Oh,” she said, taking in that information. “Thank you.” She walked out, a little disappointed. The pub it would have to be then.

* * *

 

“If you’re going to prop up the bar, you might have to order a drink,” Charity said, smiling at Robert.

“I’m waiting for Aaron,” he said. “He’ll be here any minute, he has a lot of work to catch up on.” He did, feeling guilty for having lumbered Adam with all of the scrap stuff lately, what with his stay at Her Majesty's pleasure, and Robert knew he was pushing himself. He didn’t complain too loudly, too pleased to have Aaron back permanently in his life, putting that nightmare behind them. Hopefully, with Aaron’s counselling, they’d never ever be in that situation again.

His phone buzzed with a text from Aaron saying he was on his way. “Fine, two pints please,” Robert said to Charity’s continued glaring. By the time they were placed on the bar Aaron was there, kissing Robert’s cheek briefly in hello. “Good day?” Robert asked.

“You know, it’s so good to actually be doing something again,” Aaron said. “Rather than be sat in a cell ticking down time to the next visit.”

“Mm,” Robert said softly. “Want to go out tonight? Or stay in?”

“Stay in,” Aaron said with eyes glowing brightly. “Charity’ll be working, we’ll have the place to ourselves.”

“Perfect,” Robert said lowly. He picked up his pint, took a sip, then promptly dropped the glass onto the pub floor, which smashed, pouring beer everywhere. But Robert’s eyes were glued to the person who’d just come in, convinced he was either hallucinating or dreaming. Because Sarah Sugden, his mother had been dead for fifteen years. She couldn’t be standing at the entrance of the pub, watching him almost sadly.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am overwhelmed and in awe of all the positive reactions to chapter one, so thank you so much!! Also thanks go to Smittenwithsugden for giving this chapter a first look for me. Hope everyone likes this chapter too...

Aaron was staring at him like he’d lost his mind, because spilt beer was seeping into his shoes and the bottom of his jeans, and he didn’t even seem to notice. “Are you having a seizure?” Aaron asked bluntly, not following anything at all. Robert didn’t spare him any attention, and Aaron turned to look at the woman who seemed to be holding 100% of Robert’s focus.

“You can’t be here,” he said lowly, almost a whisper as he shook his head once. “You can’t.”

“Hi Rob,” she said, forcing a very weak smile. Robert kept shaking his head at her, before snapping himself out of it, aware half the village was watching. “I need some air,” Robert said, barging past the woman, who followed him outside, leaving Aaron blinking at the space they’d both been occupying.

Robert gulped down the fresh air like a drowning man, trying to stop himself from free falling into complete panic. This couldn’t be happening, this couldn’t be real. He sat down on one of the wooden benches, trying to calm down.

“Robert, it’s okay,” Sarah said quietly, taking a seat opposite him.

“Okay, is it?” Robert breathed. “You… you’re meant to six feet under a few hundred yards away!”

“Well, I’m not going to apologise for being alive,” Sarah said.

“How about fifteen years absent then?!” Robert shouted. “No, I can’t do this. This… God…” Robert covered his face with his palm and tried to wake himself up. This wasn’t happening. When he looked up again, Sarah was still there, looking a little concerned about him, but not saying anything. 

“Clearly you were caught in the fire,” Robert said when he could feel his heart rate slowing down, the shock wearing off very marginally. Looking at her, it was obvious. The left side of her face had a burn that covered most of her cheek, and Sarah nodded, before pushing up the sleeve of her coat and Robert could see her fingers were about half as long as they should be.

“Burnt off,” she said, trying to be detached about it. After fifteen years, it still hurt to think about it. “I um… I got out, apparently. I don’t remember it. When I woke up, they’d transferred me to a specialist burn unit in Edinburgh, and no one knew who I was. I’d been in a coma for about four months.” That did stop Robert, because he hadn’t expected it to be nearly so long. “I didn’t get discharged for another three months after that.”

“Mm,” Robert said. “And what’s your excuse for the next decade and a half?”

“Jack didn’t want me near you,” Sarah said quietly. “He knew. He… knew I was alive, it just suited him to let you all believe the fire had killed me.” Robert didn’t know what to think. He didn’t particularly like his father, even the memory of him, but to do that… “I didn’t have any rights over you,” Sarah continued. “You weren’t really mine, and he reminded me that I’d never get to see you anyway, and it might be easier to just… disappear.”

“Even if I accept that, what about Vic?” Robert said. “She is yours, and you just willingly left your six year old daughter?! And that’s meant to be okay, is it?!”

“I didn’t have the energy to fight,” Sarah said sadly. “I was in grotty temporary accommodation and Jack was right in one thing, the farm was better for her than being stuck with me in a 6 by 8 room for years. I’m not saying it was right, I’m not saying I wasn’t a complete coward.” She tailed off and Robert said nothing. “I didn’t think you’d be so angry,” she said.

“Really?” Robert asked in disbelief. “I find out you willingly abandoned me and Vic and Andy, and I’m meant to be okay with that because you’re miraculously alive? I watched my mother burn to death!” he hissed at her. “Or I thought I did, you have no idea what that did to me!”

“Robert…”

“I needed you,” Robert said, his voice starting to break. “I can’t even tell you how many times I wished you were still here. Of course I’m angry.” They fell into silence, neither of them knowing what to say, how to bridge the gap of so long.

“I see a wedding ring,” Sarah said softly. Robert looked at his left hand for a moment, before it clenched into a fist unwittingly. “I’d love to meet her.” Robert scoffed.

“You’re not meeting anyone,” Robert said in a hard voice. “You don’t get to do that, you left for so many years. You can’t just turn up like nothing’s changed.”

“Robert?” They both turned around to see Aaron outside the pub, looking at them both hesitantly, not sure what to do or say.

“Go and find Vic,” Robert said to Sarah. “I’m sure she’ll want to see you. Might want to steer clear of blaming dad for everything though. For Victoria that man walks on water.”

“How can she think that?” Sarah asked with a frown.

“That’s what happens when you leave a small child with only one parent,” Robert said harshly. “I can’t do this,” he said, looking at Aaron. “I need space.” Robert got up and walked away quickly. Aaron followed him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still so overwhelmed at the reaction to this! Thank you! Hope this continues to live up to expectations. It might be a short chapter, but I've spent quite a long time working on it!! Enjoy!

Robert stood on the bridge, pacing when Aaron found him, approaching him almost warily. In their entire relationship, Aaron had seen many emotions go through Robert, panic, fear, desperation, hate, love, but he couldn’t place this one. He didn’t know what to say, and he recognised Robert’s behaviour from his own stance. He looked ready to lash out against the first person who said the wrong thing.

“Robert?” Aaron started carefully.

He stopped pacing and looked at Aaron, eyes wild. “You saw that woman right?” Robert demanded. “I’m not having some kind of psychotic hallucinatory dream, right?”

“Yes, I saw her,” Aaron said carefully. “The woman in the black coat. What did she say, who is she?” Aaron asked.

“My mother,” Robert said on an exhale. Aaron looked at him, then frowned. That made no sense at all.

“She’s dead,” Aaron said, trying to keep his tone measured, not wanting to upset his husband any more.

“Up until half an hour ago, I’d have agreed with you,” Robert said. He braced his arms on the bridge, looking at the water flowing underneath it and trying to calm down. “All this time she’s been alive,” Robert said quietly. “I… I thought I had no one, she made me think I had no one. And she’s been living her life for fifteen, sixteen years. Just away from me, away from _us_.”

“Are you sure that’s her?” Aaron asked. “Not someone playing a sick joke or something.”

“I recognise her,” Robert said. “Unless I’m having some kind of mental breakdown, it’s her.” The silence between them was broken only by Robert’s heavy breathing and the sound of the stream running.

“Robert, I don’t know what to say,” Aaron said quietly.

“For half my life, I thought my brother killed my mum. I’ve hated Andy for so long for what he did, and now I find out that it wasn’t true? Its affected my entire life! How am I supposed to cope with that Aaron?!”

“I don’t know,” Aaron said quietly. He risked stepping closer to Robert, into his personal space, and he didn’t get a punch for it, so he got even closer. “Where’s she been all this time?”

“Far away from here,” Robert said. “She didn’t seem to care about her children, thought it was best staying away for so long.”

“Then why did she come back?”

“I don’t know!” Robert shouted. Aaron flinched and he made a conscious effort to calm himself down. This wasn’t Aaron’s fault. “I don’t know,” he repeated, calmer. “To screw with my head?”

“Robert,” Aaron said, a little critically. “How’s Vic reacted?”

“I don’t know,” Robert said. “She saw me first, so…” He sighed very heavily and Aaron wrapped his arms tightly around Robert. He didn’t know what to say, but he could be here for Robert. God knows, he’d been there for Aaron often enough.

* * *

It took a good half an hour of Aaron standing with Robert in silence, for him to calm down enough to be functional. “Guess we should go back to the pub,” Robert said. “See if she’s still here.”

“Mm,” Aaron said. “Think she’ll have found Vic?”

“Well, she didn’t come running after me,” Robert said. He nodded in the direction of the village and he and Aaron slowly walked back. Robert opened the back door to the pub with some trepidation, knowing that Sarah would be close by and not entirely sure he was ready to see her yet. Sure enough, he heard the familiar sound of women gossiping, and he poked his head in the back room to see Sarah and Victoria, obviously chatting happily. Oh, to have an ounce of Victoria’s good nature. Though it had been obvious that Vic had spent some time crying, her eyes still watering, and the discarded tissues on the table making it clear.

“Rob!” Vic almost squealed happily. “Isn’t this amazing?!”

“One word for it,” Robert said darkly.

“I don’t… should I go?” Aaron asked having the feeling he was intruding on something private, and guessing Robert wouldn’t ask him to leave.

“No, you’re staying,” Robert said, giving him a look that meant if Robert was doing this, Aaron had to sit through it too.

“Just one more person to add to the awkwardness,” Aaron said sarcastically. Sarah looked at him, studying him closely.

“Is this Adam?” Sarah asked Vic. “Your husband?”

“No, that’s Aaron,” Robert said bluntly. “My husband.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I'm no good at leaving stuff on my computer written and unpublished, so this is earlier than anticipated! I promise, Fickle Fortune is the next thing to be worked on!

 

If emotions hadn’t been so tense from everyone in the room, the situation could have been funny. Aaron was twitching, looking at the floor, or anywhere that wasn’t anyone’s face. While Sarah was stumbling and stuttering. “Oh, I um… hadn’t thought. I’m sorry, I er… well.” She cleared her throat. “I didn’t know.”

“If you hadn’t been in a fake grave for fifteen years, you might have got the message a little earlier,” Robert said coldly.

“Robert!” Vic shouted.

“I’m sorry, should I have taped a post it to her grave, hoping she’d somehow realise I’m bisexual?”

“Rob, please don’t be like this,” Vic said, swapping her anger for a teary eyed expression which usually got Robert to retreat. Not this time.

“What, am I supposed to do, throw a party?” Robert asked her. “Say “oh, it’s okay, life with dad wasn’t that bad.””

“It wasn’t that bad!” Vic shouted at him.

“Maybe not for you!” Robert shouted back. Aaron moved to close the door, hoping that not much of this was filtering through to the bar, though knowing this village they’d probably be gluing their glasses to the wall to try to hear things a little clearer. “He hated me!”

“He didn’t hate you,” both Sarah and Vic said at the same time.

“You were “dead” when dad kicked me out,” Robert said viciously to Sarah. “And you were too young,” he added, a little kinder to Vic. “He hated me.”

“What makes you say that?” Vic asked tearfully.

“Oh, I don’t know, how about the fact that he beat me because he didn’t like that I was kissing boys at fifteen?” The hushed silence told Robert he’d said something he shouldn’t, and it was only the anger of the moment that had made Robert speak, made him say that hurtful truth he’d held back from everyone save Aaron for so long.

“Robert,” Aaron said quietly as Robert sank into the sofa.

“No,” Vic said in disbelief. “Dad wouldn’t.”

“That’s right,” Robert said, very tiredly. “I’m the liar. I’m always the one in the wrong.”

“Robert,” Aaron said. “No one thinks you’re lying.” He looked at Aaron and tried a very small smile. No, Aaron always had faith in him, he never thought he was lying. Well… not about stuff like this anyway.

“I hate to interrupt the party, but I have about six meals waiting on order,” Charity said, coming through to the back room and looking at Vic. “You’re the only chef on today so… okay, what have I walked in on?” she asked, able to sense the tension, almost see it in the atmosphere.

“I’m coming,” Vic said, looking at everyone else in the room, picking up another tissue to dry her eyes. She left the room, as did Charity which left Sarah with the two men, Aaron feeling out of place, and Robert feeling both very angry and vulnerable. Two feelings that didn’t go well together.

“Dad kicked me out at nineteen,” Robert continued, his voice calmer but no less hurt towards Sarah. “Did you know that? Washed his hands of me. I never saw him again, because he died a few years later. Never made it up.”

“No, I didn’t know that,” Sarah said. “Was it because of this?” she indicated Aaron, who felt a little bit offended and Robert almost snorted in amusement.

“The fact that I like men? No,” Robert said. “He’d just had enough of me.”

“Robert, I didn’t know,” Sarah said quietly.

“How would you ever know, if you never bothered to turn up?” Robert said, his voice soft again.

“Aren’t you even slightly happy to see me again?” Sarah asked. “I’ve thought about seeing you both again, and I didn’t expect you to be this angry.”

“I guess… I’m relieved to know you’re alive, but… I don’t see how anyone could walk out on three kids.”

“I walked out on two,” Sarah said. “Andy knew I was alive.”

“What?” Robert frowned. “He can’t have.”

“When I tried… after being discharged from hospital I came back here, to try and see my kids again. Jack and Andy were in the fields, thick as thieves, the way they always were. Jack told me to go, and Andy chipped in. Telling me I wasn’t wanted or needed. I’d only cause more grief. Andy didn’t even seem to feel guilty, because I was here and alive, so why should he care that he lit the match that kept me in the ICU for months on end?” 

Robert sighed heavily. “And you believed them?” he asked. “For so long, without even trying to see me? _Us?”_

“I was scared,” Sarah said. “I wasn’t quite sure what Jack and Andy were capable of doing. For all I knew they’d cooked up the whole thing together, and me making it out alive was an unfortunate loose end. So I left. I didn’t think he’d hurt you, I thought you’d be fine.”

“So you knew they were both violent, but it was fine to leave me and Vic with him?” Robert said sarcastically. “Yeah, I see that.”

“You were his kids!” Sarah said. “I was the woman who cheated on him.” She took a deep breath. “Jack was protecting Andy, after the fire. Arson and attempted murder. I thought… I thought he’d do exactly the same for all three of you.”

“Well, it’s not like I needed you to tell me Andy’s the favourite.” They fell into silence and Aaron became aware the attention was slowly being fixated on him.

“So, you’re Aaron,” Sarah said quietly forcing a smile.

“Last time I looked,” Aaron said.

“How long’ve you two been married?” Sarah asked, her eyes flicking between the two men. At first look, they didn’t seem a perfect pair, a good match, they looked completely ill suited.

“Since February,” Aaron said, his eyes sticking to Robert’s for a moment, both of them warm at the memory. It had been a very good day.

“Oh, not long then,” Sarah said. Aaron’s gaze swung to hers in disbelief.

“Do you have a problem with me?” Aaron asked bluntly.

“No,” she said. “I don’t know you.”

“Don’t,” Robert said. “Don’t you dare criticise my choice. I love Aaron, that‘s what counts.”

“I should go,” Aaron said firmly.

“Don’t you dare,” Robert said.

“You might have a right to be angry,” Aaron said. “But she is allowed to be slightly surprised that you’ve married a man.” Robert looked like he wanted to argue this, but Aaron squeezed his hand and left before Robert could formulate the words.

“You could have warned me,” Sarah said. “I wasn’t expecting…”

“Sorry,” Robert said, not meaning it a bit. “When was I supposed to tell you? Come to that, why should it be a “thing” that needs telling at all? I love someone and he loves me. Who cares if it’s a man?”

“I’m not having a go,” Sarah said. “I’m just… was there something I missed? Something I should have picked up on?”

“No,” Robert said. He’d like to blame her for his confusion about his sexuality, but he knew he couldn’t. It was a stretch to blame that on her at the very best. “No, I… didn’t know who I was for a long time. Aaron did make… things clearer for me.”

“Are you happy?”

“Right now in this situation?” Robert asked, nodding at her pointedly. “Not really, but with him, yes,” he said. “Very happy. I want my life with him.”

“What the hell is wrong with you two?!” A familiar voice shouted from the corridor, bursting into the back room of the pub. Liv, looking straight at Robert, suitcase in hand. “Fifteen missed calls to you and my brother! I had to take a taxi from the airport, and I’m not paying for it!”

“Er… hi,” Robert said. “Since when were you coming home today?”

“Do you and Aaron not speak?” Liv asked with a scowl. “Drivers waiting outside.” Robert did not want to leave Sarah and Liv alone for a moment, so in a move he might regret, he passed Liv his wallet. 

“I know how much cash is in there, alright?” he warned. Liv greedily took it, hurrying outside to pay the taxi.

“Who’s that?” Sarah asked. “God, is she yours?” He could see Sarah counting backwards in her head rapidly. Technically it was possible Robert could have a fifteen year old daughter.

“No. Yes.” Robert sighed. “She’s Aaron’s sister, but yes, she is mine, we take care of her.” Sarah’s eyebrows flicked up in a move that Robert could still read, even after such a long absence. It meant she wasn’t impressed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Through some miracle I managed to finish this chapter tonight. Hope you enjoy!!

Robert could breathe again. He and Aaron were curled up on the sofa, Liv “unpacking” upstairs while Sarah checked into the B and B. Eric would remember her from before, so that was going to be an interesting conversation, Robert imagined. But right now, he’d had enough interesting conversations. Robert was filled with longing and anger mixed in almost equal measure. For so long he’d wanted a parent, someone who’d always love him no matter how badly he screwed up. And now she was here, all Robert could do was shout and feel so hurt. But Aaron’s comforting arms around him helped. He just didn’t want to think about his mother any more today. There was only so much he could take in a single day. Just when he felt at his most relaxed, the calmest he’d been since he walked into the pub, Vic arrived. She’d changed out of her chef whites, clearly finished for the day.

“I don’t want to talk about mum,” Robert said shortly, aware this was the first time he’d called her such. He sat up, sliding out of Aaron’s arms and missing the contact instantly.

“But…” she started.

“Vic, not now,” Aaron advised. “It’s been a long day.”

“All right,” she said, perching on the edge of the coffee table. “How about we talk about dad instead?”

“Fine,” Robert agreed after a moments silence. He nodded at Aaron who left, squeezing Robert’s hand before he did. Once the door closed, Robert got defensive, Vic could see it in his shoulders.

“Why did you never tell me?”

“Because when it happened… I thought I should be the one who was ashamed,” Robert said. “That what I’d done was the wrong thing. It took a lot of years to realise that dad was in the wrong.” Robert looked at his hands. “And anyway, when am I supposed to knock Jack Sugden off the pedestal you put him on?”

“Rob…”

“I was fifteen,” Robert said quietly. “I was confused enough with how I was feeling, it’s not like anything would have happened anyway. I had no one to talk to about how I felt. I hid it because I liked women too, so what did it matter?”

“I’m so sorry,” Vic said, shaking her head, looking tearful again.

“I shouldn’t have told you,” Robert said. He might have unburdened himself, but Vic knowing would damage the memory of their father for her.

“No, you should,” Vic said. “It makes you make a bit more sense now.”

“Well, I shouldn’t have told you like that,” Robert said. “In the middle of an argument."

“Maybe not,” Victoria agreed, smiling slightly.

“Go home,” Robert said to her. “Be with Adam, talk to him about how amazing it is.”

“It is though, isn’t it?” Vic said with almost a childlike enthusiasm.

“I’m going to bed,” Robert said, in lieu of answering. “Night.”

“It’s early,” Vic said.

“Want me to detail what Aaron and I will be doing?” Robert said with raised eyebrows.

“Nope,” she said, jumping up. “Night Rob.”

Robert did take Aaron to bed, but just for reassuring touches and to hold each other, he didn’t need or want anything more.

* * *

 

Just as it was approaching dawn, Robert left the pub to go for a walk, clear his head. Surprisingly, he’d slept well, though he knew Aaron hadn’t. Him not even twitching when Robert got out of bed was a big clue. Robert left him a note before putting his leather jacket on and then walked. No one was up in the village yet, it was all quiet on the Eastern front. He went across the fields, following footpaths he hadn’t since he was a teenager, but his feet recognised the route well enough. Probably destroying his shoes in the process, but that didn’t matter. The fresh air of the Spring day helped to clear his mind.

Had he been actively seeking her out? Robert didn’t know, but he saw Sarah at the gate, looking over the farm. There was no way he could avoid her, she’d already seen him.

“It wasn’t rebuilt,” she said. “The barn.”

“No,” Robert said, not sure he had the mental ability for another conversation with Sarah so soon. “Moira’s got a couple of barns over on the west field.”

“Eric’s been filling me in on some of the village gossip,” Sarah said.

“About me?”

“No,” she said. “Surprisingly quiet about my children. Apparently I should hear it from you and Victoria.” She shrugged. “Didn’t know Eric did tact, must be getting sentimental in his old age.”

“Mm.”

“Tell me about your life,” Sarah said. “I want to know everything about you. I know yesterday was a big shock.”

“Yes.”

“But I want to know the life you have.”

“Okay,” Robert said, a little calmer than before. He started talking about Aaron, and Liv and the fact he was happy. He wanted to gloss over any of his past mistakes, not quite trusting Sarah yet. But talking about Aaron made it necessary to talk about Chrissie in a round about way.

“So... Aaron’s your second marriage?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Though it’s not… it’s not legal. Yet,” Robert added fervently. “We wanted to do I before Aaron went to prison, I wanted to give him, _us_ a day that showed how committed I was to him. It’s… it is what it is, and I don’t want to be criticised, okay?”

“What did he go to prison for?” Sarah asked, keeping her tone very neutral.

“GBH,” Robert said.

“Rob!” Sarah gasped, taking in this information. “Has he ever hurt you?!”

“No!”

“Robert, don’t lie to me!” Sarah said, sensing more to it.

“All right, he’s punched me a few times, but ages ago!” Robert said. Aaron wasn’t a brute, and he didn’t like Sarah saying that he was. “When I was making him lie to cover the affair. He isn’t some violent thug.”

“Robert, you think I could ever be happy for you being with anyone, whatever gender, who hurts you?”

“It’s not…” Robert sighed, running a hand over his face in agitation. He needed her to understand that in no way was his relationship with Aaron abusive. “He doesn’t hurt me, it’s not like that so get that look off your face.”

“I think you need help,” Sarah said softly. Robert couldn’t resist from rolling his eyes.

“He knows he has problems, he’s going to counselling,” Robert said, holding onto his temper. “After the life he’s had, he has a right to be a little messed up.” Robert was not about to go into Aaron’s past, because in no way was it fair. Not his stories to tell. “I knew telling you about my life was a mistake. You don’t get to be judgemental after so long absent. And I can’t catch you up with everything I’ve lived through in one or two conversations. I need to go.” He had to get away.

“Robert, don’t walk away from me!” Sarah called. He ignored this.


	6. Chapter 6

Aaron and Liv looked up in surprise as Robert came bursting into the back of the pub, breathing heavily like he’d been running.

“What’s wrong with you?” Liv asked bluntly.

“Be quiet,” Robert said. Liv scoffed.

“Oh, hi Liv,” she imitated. “How’s your mum? You know, the one who was on life support not that many weeks ago!!” she snapped at him.

“Sorry,” Robert said, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “My mum returned from the dead twenty four hours ago, I’m a little… twitchy.”

Liv looked a little cowed. “Yeah, Aaron said. Do we like your mother?”

“I’m not entirely sure yet,” Robert said. “I was your age when she left, so… there’s a lot of catching up to do and I have no idea how I should feel.” Liv forced a smile. “How is your mum?”

“Got everyone waiting on her hand and foot,” Liv said. “She’ll be fine in a few weeks, so I came home.” Even with how exhausted his brain was from the events yesterday, Robert smiled at the way Liv said “home.”

“I need a distraction,” Robert said to Aaron. “Want to come with me to the Mill? Get some stuff done on it?”

“Sure,” Aaron said instantly, recognising this was more about Robert getting some space than home improvements. Within half an hour, they were at the new house, and Aaron looked at his husband.

“Are you going to tell me where you were this morning or am I going to have to drag it out of you?” Aaron asked.

“I wasn’t…” Robert started in fear, thinking that Aaron might be implying he was with someone else.

“I know,” Aaron interrupted. “I trust you. So…”

“I went for a walk to clear my head,” Robert said. “Bumped into… mum.” Just the barest hesitation before he called her that. “I don’t think she’s going to like you.”

“Why?” Aaron asked.

“I mentioned, in passing, that you’d been to prison for GBH,” Robert said.

“Why did you do that?” Aaron said with a scowl.

“Because it’s not some big secret, and it just came out!” Robert said quickly. “And it doesn’t matter to me,” he added, calmer. “You going to prison doesn’t matter, all it does is make me know that I can’t be without you again.” Aaron softened a little, and Robert wrapped his arms around him, needing him close.

“Well of course she’s not going to be wildly happy, I probably sound like some brute,” Aaron said reasonably. “Don’t blame her for being a little concerned. Or protective of you.”

“She’s not been here,” Robert said bitterly, though continued to allow Aaron to hold him, calm him down.

“How long did it take me to be concerned about Liv, once she came into my life?” Aaron asked. “Our lives.” Robert smiled at the correction, silently marvelling at the man in his arms. He could be offended at Sarah‘s assumptions about him, he could be angry, but no. He was trying to be reasonable, trying to be the steady one of the pair of them, knowing that Robert’s emotions were all over the place right now.

“I don’t know how I’d do this without you,” Robert admitted.

“You would be fine,” Aaron said. He pressed a gentle kiss to his husband and Robert smiled, letting him go. “Right, let’s get to work.”

* * *

 

It was a few hours later, both men having worked up a sweat when there was a knock on the door. Aaron answered it, surprised when he saw Sarah. Surprised and a little annoyed because he wasn’t looking his best, having been at work for most of the morning. He also knew his hair looked a mess, because Robert had run his hands through it several times already, enjoying the curls, apparently.

“Robert’s in the kitchen,” Aaron said. “I’ll get him.”

“No,” Sarah said with a smile. “I actually want a word with you.”

“Oh?” Aaron said carefully. “About what?”

“Well, at the moment I think Robert’s the only thing we have in common,” Sarah said. The man in question appeared behind Aaron and scoffed at Sarah.

“I don’t see you for years, and now you won’t go,” Robert said with a bitterness in his voice Aaron knew he didn’t mean.

“I wanted a chat with your husband,” Sarah said.

“No,” Robert said bluntly.

“What do you think she’s going to do?” Aaron said to Robert. “Make me change my mind about you?” Robert rolled his eyes and Aaron kissed him, very briefly before grabbing his hoodie and leaving the house.

“So?” Aaron said, his tone hard as they walked through the village. “Get on with it then.”

“Why’re you so harsh, you don’t know me,” Sarah said.

“I know Robert,” Aaron said. “I know how much he needed a parent, someone to talk to, so forgive me if I’m not your biggest fan.”

“I didn’t know,” Sarah said. “I didn’t think he needed me, I thought… well, I was wrong.”

“Mm.” Aaron sighed. “I don’t have a lot of patience for people who leave their children out of choice.” Sarah had nothing to say to that, so she changed the subject slightly.

“Do you love him?” Sarah asked.

“Think I’d be with him if I didn’t?”

“I don’t know, because I don’t know you,” Sarah said. “Robert mentioned he was left some money from his divorce and…”

Aaron scoffed. “Trust me, there are easier ways to get money than putting up with Robert. I do love him, for the record, but he isn’t easy. Even he would tell you that.”

“Okay... so... prison?” Sarah suggested.

“Yeah, Robert told me he mentioned it to you,” Aaron said. It was still fairly recent, but Aaron felt that no matter how much time had passed, he would always view that as a particularly dark time in his life.

“Why?” Sarah asked.

“I punched someone who was being homophobic and insulting a friend,” Aaron said briefly. “Got locked up for several weeks for my trouble.” Aaron sighed, feeling that this really wasn’t going anywhere. “Look, I have a busy day, I have a tearaway sister, a business and a house to do up. I love your son. That should be all that matters.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would love ideas on where to go with this now. Thank you so much for the support so far!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I need a slapped wrist for how long this has taken me to update. Sorry! This fic is slowly coming to an end, and I wasn't quite sure how to write it which is what took the time. Thank you for being patient!

“You did what?!” Robert snapped in disbelief.

“Dinner,” Vic repeated, her eager eyes making it clear that she was serious. “With mum, and everyone. We could all be there and…”

“No,” Robert said bluntly. “I can’t sit around a table and make nice . I’m still hurting Vic.”

“But… if you always avoid her it’ll never get any better, will it?” Vic said brightly. “I’ll cook, I’ll do everything, all you have to do is sit at a table, smile for an hour or two then everyone goes back home.”

“Well, I don’t think… hang on, you want to have this car crash dinner here?” Robert said, catching on to the look on her face. “At the Mill? No.”

“Oh, come on, Rob,” Vic said. “I’m sure Aaron would be up for it, He’d do anything you asked him to.”

“Whether that’s true or not is besides the point,” Robert said. “I’m not going to pretend everything’s fine over soup!”

“Robert, if you’ve ever cared for me, you will do this!” Vic snapped. “I’ve lost so many pieces of my family, I’m not about to hold a grudge when one of them comes back! I know it’s not ideal, but please. For me.”

“I’ll ask Aaron, but if he says no, it’s a no,” Robert said. Vic grinned, guessing (most likely accurately) what Aaron would say. Everyone knew he’d do anything Robert asked him to.

“Thanks big brother!” Vic said cheerily. She walked out of the mill and Robert sighed. It had been about a week since he’d seen Sarah, and while some of his anger had worn out, that didn’t mean he wanted to participate in a family meal.

* * *

Him, Aaron and Liv had officially moved into the Mill two days ago. It was still a little unfinished, but they needed to spend their time in one place, living between here and the Woolpack had been getting inconvenient. And the wifi was up and running so Liv was happy.

As predicted, Aaron agreed without any persuasion at all. “She’s your mum,” Aaron said.

“Mm, I’m getting that a lot from Vic,” Robert grumbled. So it was arranged for Friday night, Robert looking forward to it about as much as having a tooth pulled. But both Aaron and Vic were trying to keep his spirits up, but Robert wasn’t quite ready to forgive such a long absence.

On the night in question, Liv had locked herself away in her bedroom, Aaron setting the table for six. Aaron, Robert, Liv, Adam, Vic and Sarah. “Could always lock the door and say we’re not home,” Robert suggested, only half joking as his arms wound around Aaron’s waist. “I have better ideas for what to do on a Friday night.”

“Get off,” Aaron said, though he was smiling and made no move to escape Robert’s hands. Which were wandering suggestively. Actually, forget suggestion, Robert was being downright dirty. “You have family coming over,” Aaron said, dodging his hands because getting turned on right now was not what he wanted.

“Sod them,” Robert said. “Come on…”

“Robert!” Aaron snapped. He kissed Aaron gently and Aaron sank into it, letting Robert have the distraction, as there was a loud ring of the doorbell. Robert rolled his eyes but answered it, seeing Sarah there. Which surprised him, because Vic was meant to be here first, she was the one who was cooking the food after all.

“Hi,” Aaron said. Sarah’s smile dimmed slightly, looking at him, but she greeted him pleasantly enough.

“Vic’s not here yet,” Robert said, leading the way into the kitchen, and opening the wine. Wine would be needed to get through this, Robert felt.

“That’s okay,” Sarah said. “Apparently she’s doing the pork at her house, because she knows how her cooker works.”

Once the three of them had a drink in hand, an awkward silence descended, Robert gripping the stem of his wine glass harder than he should do. Aaron reached for his hand, and tried to make him relax, with words being spoken between them through just their eyes. Sarah felt like an intruder, and despite being doubtful of this Aaron, it was clear they’d been together long enough to share “married looks.” 

“So, Aaron, what do you do?” Sarah tried instead, trying to find a topic of conversation that wasn’t dangerous.

“I run a scrap yard with a mate of mine,” Aaron said. “It’s good money, works quite well.”

“Oh good,” Sarah said. Then struggled for more words. They were interrupted by the doorbell ringing, and Robert rushed off to answer it before the ringing had even died away. Vic and Adam came in cheerily, holding trays of food, her bright smile the only good thing in the cold atmosphere.

As predicted, dinner was a bit of a nightmare. It was a silent affair, Vic being the only one to force the conversation, no one else having anything to say. It ended before the main course was even finished, Liv stomping up to her bedroom, Sarah saying she wouldn’t stay where she wasn’t wanted, and Vic bursting into tears, being consoled by Adam.

* * *

 

The next day, Sarah popped up again at the scrapyard, watching from a distance as Aaron and Robert laughed together over some car. Her son looked happy, and a lot younger even from this distance. They were clearly messing around and her footsteps on the gravel was what distracted them from their work. Robert’s face fell when he saw her, spluttered under his breath before locking himself in the portacabin, leaving Aaron and Sarah alone. Aaron sighed and leant on the bonnet of the car.

“He doesn’t want me here,” Sarah said. “I should go back to Edinburgh, I never should have come here.”

“He does want you here,” Aaron said. “He’s just scared to open up to you. Every parental figure he’s ever had has either hurt him or left him. He’s frightened to do it again, put himself through it. It‘s easier for him to shut you out.”

“But…”

“And you not liking me doesn’t help.”

“I don’t have to like you,” Sarah said after a beat of silence, thinking it would be pointless to deny it. It was obvious she hadn’t exactly warmed to her sons husband.

“Robert will be taking it as a sleight against his sexuality,” Aaron said, knowing that’s how he felt.

“That’s crazy,” Sarah said, staring at Aaron. “That’s got nothing to do with it.”

“I know,” Aaron said. “But that’s how he’s taking it. What you don’t know is how long he’s fought with himself over what he is. It has taken him years to be even slightly comfortable with a man in public. He has Jack’s voice in his head telling him that bisexuality is wrong, that kissing a man is disgusting. It‘s not his fault, I don’t blame him for it, but that’s a hell of a mental block to try and get over. Then you turn up here after so long, not particularly warming to me… he feels the rejection all over again. Thinks it‘s for him.”

“And he’s told you all this, has he?” Sarah asked, with disbelief.

Aaron scoffed. “Of course not. But I can read him well, I’ve known him too long. He can’t lie well to me. Robert… he‘s never felt good enough, which I think is why he lies and schemes to get what he wants. Because alone, he‘s thinks he’s not enough.” Sarah shook her head, but didn’t know what to say to that. “For what it’s worth,” Aaron said. “For me, he’s always enough. I wouldn’t have made it through some… difficult days if I hadn’t had him by my side.” Aaron left, going into the cabin to try and calm Robert down, leaving Sarah an awful lot to think about.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I've reached the end, thank you all! I didn't want the angst to go on too long, though in my head several weeks have passed between the last chapter and this one. Mentions to Aaron's past abuse here, though it's very light.

Robert and Sarah had arranged to meet and both Vic and Aaron had been telling Robert to sort it with his mother. Both for slightly different reasons, Robert thought. Vic wanted them to all get along, Aaron was tired of Robert being a grumpy git when that was usually his forte. Aaron knew that for Robert’s own peace of mind, he needed things sorted. 

Sarah sat outside the Woolpack on one of the wooden benches, waiting for him. It was early in the day, so it wouldn’t be crowded with punters, and it was neutral enough that Robert felt comfortable. “Hi,” he said, sitting opposite her.

“You said you wanted to talk,” Sarah said carefully.

“Yeah,” Robert said heavily. “I do. I can’t… for myself, I can’t be angry with you all the time. It’s exhausting, especially if you’re planning to stick around.”

“I am,” Sarah said. “Or at the very least, visit every few weeks.”

“Okay,” Robert said. When Robert showed no signs of continuing, Sarah started.

“I’ve heard rumours about you,” she said. “Even when I try not to listen. Not all good things.”

“No,” Robert said, not wanting to get into it.

“People say…”

“I thought you didn’t listen to what people say?” Robert quipped. Sarah let out a smile, one Robert mirrored, albeit briefly.

“I hear you were lucky Aaron gave you a second chance,” Sarah said.

“I was,” Robert said fervently. “I treated him so horribly when I was married to Chrissie.” He’s accepted this about himself a long time, and if Aaron was able to forgive him, he should be able to move past it, though some times it was difficult. “He should have run a mile from me.”

“But…?” Sarah prompted.

“Aaron was raped,” Robert said quietly. He’d already spoken to Aaron about this, and knew Aaron didn’t mind him telling Sarah. In Aaron’s head, most of the village knew anyway, so what did one more person matter? “A long time ago, but... He went through… a very difficult time when it went to court, and everything that came with it, and I was the person he relied on. He trusted me, and I think it was that, that made him give me a chance for us to make a go of it properly. I hoped Aaron would want to be with me, but I didn’t really believe it. I’m not stupid enough to throw away a second chance, and that’s why I get… quite defensive when you don’t like him. Because he’s so much better than me, stronger, just… more than me.”

“Robert, you’re my son. No one in this world could be good enough for you.” Robert let out a small laugh. “No one’s good enough for Vic either.”

“Don’t like Adam?” Robert asked. This hadn’t been something he’d considered.

“Oh, Rob, he’s so laid back he’s horizontal!” Sarah said. “But Vic is so happy. So I don’t complain too much.”

“But you complain about Aaron?”

“You’ve hardly seemed happy, Robert!” she snapped.

“We’re finding our way,” Robert said. “Prison was… hard for all three of us, and we’d barely found our footing again when you showed up.”

“And rocked the boat?”

“Just a little,” Robert said bluntly.

“I meant what I said,” Sarah said. “I thought you were all better off without me. I couldn’t have been a mother to you, the burns and the damage left me in no state for months, I was still having skin grafts more than a year after it happened. I’m sorry I was wrong.”

“If you’d have seen us, you’d have known,” Robert said, shaking his head again. “You know what, I can’t go over it again. Aaron’s right, I need to let it go, because if I keep going over the past, it will always haunt me.”

“Okay,” Sarah said. “Did you marry Chrissie because you couldn’t admit who you were?”

Seeing as they were being honest, Robert decided to answer that question. “Not entirely,” Robert said. “I… had a plan, and marrying her was part of that. I became so focused on that, I refused to see how much I loved Aaron. And I did love him, even then. Couldn’t admit it. I don’t know if I can blame Jack for all of it, but he sure as hell didn’t help.”

“Robert, I’m sorry,” she said. “I thought you were fine, I didn’t know my kids needed me.”

“Well, I needed you,” Robert said. “I needed someone to tell me that I was normal, that there was nothing wrong with me. That kissing a boy didn’t make me dirty or abnormal or wrong. It wasn’t something I deserved a beating for. It took me years, years and years to accept who I am, that there’s nothing wrong with me being bi. I needed my mum to tell me I was all right.” Robert’s voice wavered and Sarah moved around the bench to put her arm around him. Robert let her. “I always think one day Aaron’s going to see the real me and leave me for someone who’s worth his time,” Robert admitted.

“He won’t,” Sarah said, like any mother reassuring her child.

“Everyone leaves me,” Robert said lowly. “Even my own mother couldn’t stick around for me. Is it any wonder I have fears Aaron will get up and leave me too?” 

“You ever made a big mistake?” Sarah asked, letting him go, looking in his face.

“Too many to mention,” Robert said. Sarah smiled at him. Robert hadn’t forgiven her, not even close, but wasting more time now was pointless.

“Tell me about Aaron,” Sarah said. “Who proposed?” Robert smiled slightly at the memory.

“I did,” Robert said. “But if you ask him, he’d tell you he did.”

“That sounds like a story.” Robert smiled, because it was a story. One he didn't mind telling.

 


End file.
